Im sorry to come to CL but I’m desperate to just get somethings off my chest. Lately I’m really feeling the weight of sadness. It seems to grow heavier with each passing day. Im a mother to 4 beautiful children. One of my children aren’t here with me. He passed shortly after he was born and it has left an unimaginable void in my life, a hole in my heart that is so deep and dark nothing seems to help. Some days feel unbearable, as I struggle to find the will to go on. The deeper I dive into this grief, the harder it becomes to see the light around me. Each day reminds me of his absence, and my heart aches with longing. I often find myself wishing to go to sleep and not wake up just to reunite with him. But then guilt washes over me, for I love my children and family who are still here, needing me. I know I must be strong for them, but the weight of this pain leaves me exhausted and afraid, as if every unkind thought might pull me away from the world I cherish. I’m scared. I don’t want to leave my children. I want to heal and be happy. I want to see the light again. I just don’t know how. Days stretch into sleepless nights, and I find myself in a constant battle with my heart and mind. I worry endlessly about the darkness that lingers and what it could mean for myself and my family. I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up, how much longer I can carry this heavy heart. If anyone hears me, please know that I am trying. I am trying to hold on, to find a way through this pain. Your understanding means everything. 💔✨